i was at Winner's yesterday and this jumped off the shelf at me.  for $9.99 there was no way it wasn't also going to jump into my bag.  i can't believe i scored this for $10!  i'm a happy camper!

in bad news, AF showed up.  kinda.  she's being iffy about actually totally showing up.  damn her.  so... next step is advice from the doctor on fertility.  fun fun.

no nail polish in this post. 

my wonderful boyfriend and i have been trying to conceive since november 2010.  almost a year.  so far we've had absolutely no luck.  in the midst of our trying, we found out i had a polyp in my uterus.  also that said polyp might be the cause our fertility issues.  so i underwent a d&c to have it removed in the spring and we got back to trying, with more hope now, to get me pregnant again.

and here we are in October and i'm still wandering the world as non-pregnant as ever.

my dear aunt was due today.  she did not show.  i've had a conspicuous lack of the usual menstrual cramps and sensitive breasts that usually start about a week before AF is due.  2 days ago i tested and it was negative.  i called my doctor and have an appointment to talk to her about more help with our fertility issues on October 13th.  i'm guessing we're going to need some medical help, maybe drugs?, for me to get knocked up.

usually i leave it at that.  one negative and move on.  but this month it feels different.  or i have my hopes up way too high.  where are the cramps?  where are the sore bewbs?  is my body messing with me and maybe my cycle has decided to be longer this month??  why hasn't someone invented a damn instant pregnancy test?? ;)

cross your fingers for us?  if AF doesn't show by Monday i will test again then. 

it all started with the want to decorate the cover of my new journal.  well... kinda journal.  i usually buy myself hardcovered sketchbooks to use as journals.  i like the blank pages, i like being able to doodle, sketch, and paste things into my diaries.  :)

so i bought a few scrapbooking supplies to decorate the plain black cover of the journal.  and i did.  it looks pretty now.  but i could not stop buying scrapbooking supplies!!  the pretty papers somehow wound their pretty papery tentacles into my soul and now i must own.it.all.  i have fancy shmancy edging scissors.  i have card stock.  i have hundreds of papers in different patterns and prints and pretties.  i have glues, die cut decorative pieces, alphabets... gah!!!

so i decided i will list some of my new hobby in my Etsy store.  i have one set of blank cards for sale, another set that i need to take pictures of and list today, and enough supplies to make more sets than i have friends to send them to!

i keep meaning to create a post about my adventure into frankenpolishing.  but... gah... wtf... there is something wrong with me.  or i'm pregnant.  either way, my stomach is not a happy camper the last few days.  being hungry leads to nausea, thinking of food makes my stomach turn (even when i'm hungry... hello stomach, mixed messages much??), having a great idea for dinner, making it and mmmmm it looks sooooo goooood.  it smells soooo goooood.  the second the fork hits my lips... blech.

and the worst part???  the nausea never, ahem, matures, into anything but "omg, my sttttoommmmmaaacchh".  i think, hey, if i could just barf i might feel better.  but nothing.  nada.  just my stomach unhappily turning and making me cry.

sigh.  so... how's that for non-nailpolish related tmi???

i've had a gazillion nailpolishes all laid out on my coffee table since the frankenpolishing.  but i've been too "omg, my ssstttooommmmacccch" to put them away or make another frankenpolish.  they're in limbo.  poor things.  it must be like purgatory for nailpolishes... just hanging out in full view without anyone oooohing and aaaahing over them.

i made two frankens.  one is pretty much a fail.  i'm hoping i can get my hands on some linear holo pigment to save it.  the other turned out pretty nicely!

and as soon as my stomach stops screaming at me every time i move or breathe or think i'll take pictures.  i promise!! 

this is a pretty simple manicure.  but oh so pretty and girly!  i really do like the combo of Senorita Rose-Alita with V.I.P.

i painted them up last night while i watch Labyrinth.  for the first time.  ever.  i had a very sheltered childhood.  my parents became born again Christians when i was 5(ish?).  by the time i was 10 they were so brainwashed that they believed almost everything was "evil" or from the devil.  Labyrinth was an evil movie, we were not allowed to watch it.  jeeezz.  i remember my dad destroying his ABBA albums because god told him to.  yeah.  strange childhood.  :)

anyway.  i liked it.  Labyrinth, that is.  but i could not stop looking at David Bowie's crotch.  every pair of pants he wore made it impossible not to look there!  please tell me i'm not the only one who's eyes wandered to his junk every time he was in a scene!

no, no i won't.  but if i ever needed to, i now know how to pop a cap in an ass.  or at least at a paper target ;)

my love took me shooting this weekend.  it was my very first contact with a real gun ever.  he let me use his .22 rifle as a start.  i was so incredibly nervous.  it took me quite a while to work up to the first shot.  i was afraid of the gun!  he took a picture of me firing off my first round.  see how far away the gun is from me?  so scared of it.  gah.

and oh, my.  what a most awful terrible unflattering photo of me.  it is, without a doubt, the worst picture of me ever, with my face all scrunched up and my arms look so chubby.  but i'm so proud that i overcame my fear of firearms that i'm going to share anyway.

 that picture is even worse than the one of me camping, day feels-like-we've-been-here-forever without a stich of makeup or a wink of sleep:

but wait... look... i clean up pretty decently:

okay, back to shooting.  my first go kinda sucked:

but at the end of the day i was getting pretty comfortable with the whole process and my love and i had a bit of an impromptu competition.  after i managed to punch a great hole in a target at 25yds, he had to one-up me.  so he said he'd do it without using the bipod.  heh.  and since i will not let my thunder be stolen, i decided i had to do it without the bipod too.  his target is the one on the upper right.  mine is the lower right.  i kicked his asssssss!

sorry readers!  i said i'd take macro pictures of the fimo canes today.  instead i went out to run errands and came home with a migraine.  so i've been in and out of bed all afternoon/evening.  i hate saying i will do something and then not doing it without letting people know that i honestly intended to get it done but something stopped me.

i apologize :)  i did take a few photos with the macro and flash.  i don't like them as much as macro in natural light, but i'll share them anyway.

here's the whole bundle face up in the plastic baggie they came in (click to make bigger.  much bigger):

and the most curious cane of the bunch.  does anyone know what it is?  it is obviously a face with a yin yang sign on it's forehead, but i'm wondering if it's a figure with meaning in the east :)

we've been trying to conceive since November 2010.  so far, obviously, without any luck.

i am normally very superstitious about this stuff.  i'm only now slowly opening up about trying, i've joined a trying to conceive forum and told a few friends.  but i can't shake the feeling that it is something that should not be talked about until i'm actually knocked up.

yesterday while i was out and about running errands i was sadly drawn to the baby section at Winner's.  i felt awful.  like it's never going to happen for us, like we're past our prime and babies just aren't going to happen anymore.  starting families is for people in their 20's.  not in their 30's and 40's.

so while i was feeling all down and convinced i am never going to get pregnant i saw this outfit.  and something scary took over and i bought it.

i'm kind of embarrassed about my purchase.  i didn't tell my man about it, i kept it hidden in the shopping bag so he wouldn't see it.  and now it's hidden in with some of my yarn stash.  i keep thinking that buying this baby outfit before i am even pregnant is going to jinx our chances beyond all hope :\

trying to conceive is slowly driving me insane. 

i really like makeup and nailpolish.  that, we have established through this blog.

i also really like shoes.  i don't own an embarrassing amount of shoes, but i love them as much as i love makeup and nailpolish.

shoes, polish, makeup and jewelry never disappoint.  i'm not a skinny girl, i hate shopping for clothes because it never fails that i leave the stores feeling flabby and large.  but shoes, makeup, nailpolish and jewelry... those babies always fit.

so sometimes i'll throw in a post about shoes or jewelry :)

today it's shoes.  i found these cuties at Winner's weeks and weeks ago.  but i was cheap and wasn't going to pay their full price for them.  yesterday i discovered them on clearance for $24.  so they came home with me.

Harajuku Lovers.  style: Leah heel.

i used to, back in the day, wear them everyday to work and walk around in them 8+ hours at a time.

today i was sorely (haha no pun intended) reminded i am very out of practice wearing heels out in the real world.  i managed to walk through Home Depot without much problem while my love shopped for a new table saw.  i managed to get back to the car without much pain.

but when we stopped at Walmart, so i could pick up hairspray, my ankles started protesting.  protesting by turning inwards and messing with my already precarious balance.

by the time we paid and were leaving the store i stopped, right in front of Walmart, and begged my love to please unbuckle them so i could take them off.  by then my balance was fucked, if i had bent down to unbuckle them myself i surely would have ended up face down on the pavement.

so he did... much to his embarrassment.  and i did the rest of our errands blissfully barefoot.

the lesson i learned today?  i need more practice.  more time on sexy heels, less time in boring flats!  )

wahoo!  i have long(ish) nails again.  i gave in and went to the salon and got some acrylics.  i just couldn't handle the stubbin nails any longer.  so i gots me my veddy veddy first acrylic nails.

for the most part i'm happy with them.  but gah, they're thick!  next time i go for acrylics i'll make a point of asking for thin!  also, they seem wider at the tips than the are at the base, is that normal for acrylics?  i feel like a such a newb.  oh... wait... i am.  heh.

it is late here, i'm really tired after a night of poker and chillin' with the boys, otherwise i'd be all over taking some pics right.naow.  but i'm not so tired that i couldn't come rushing here to talk about my new acrylics.  so tomorrow... or, technically, later on today, i will update with some photos.  and i'm definitely going to be removing the salon polish and doing my own.  i'm a bit of a clutz, i wrecked the perty salon job pretty much as soon as i walked out of the door.  :\

k.  to bed.  nighty night blogiverse.  i will be back in the daylight with pictures :)

a trip to Ikea for one shelf turned me into a cleaning monster today.  i have literally done nothing but clean today.  and the one thing i wanted to accomplish hasn't been done.  i wanted to get the shelf assembled and the stuff that's going into it organized.  i got the assembly part done...

 i also got my entire living room and kitchen tidied up:

and my dresser now looks like a girl actually lives here:

but the stuff that is going on the new shelf?  still a terrible untidy pile on my dining room hutch.  most of it is my man's work stuff.  he runs poker tournaments at night and does contracting during the day.  there is quite the assortment of things on it... a showerhead, cards, receipts, pencils galore, floor plans, a NY Giants baseball cap, a measuring tape... oh my.

so, no nailpolish today.  i broke two nails right down to the quick pulling boxes meant to go in the new shelf out of the box they had them in at Ikea :(  so i have stubbins again.  stubbins with slightly chipped polish from all the cleaning i did today.  why isn't it as much fun painting them when they're shorter?? ;)

and no inspiration.

okay... entirely not true.  a quick look around at all the nail blogs i read and there is way more than enough inspiration!  :)

here's a secret.  i am one of those mental types.  i enjoy living with chronic depression and anxiety.  and today is what my love has come to call "a crazy day".  he doesn't say it in a derogatory way, he says it with a smile in a way that makes me smile.

crazy days usually mean pjs, sofa, internet and absolutely no motivation.  and that's killing the perty that could be my nails!  they're currently only wearing a nail strengthener.  my stash boxes are open on the sofa next to me, but i just am not feeling it!

in the meantime, while i'm waiting for this bout of depression to pass, or for the inspiration for new nails to come (whatever happens first), i'll show you my stash.  it is tiny compared to some :)

this is where it lives.  right beside "my" spot on the sofa :)

inside the boxes.  there have been some additions since this picture, the boxes are both full up to the brim now.  i don't know how that happened ;)

okay.  i admit it.  i'm a dumbass.  i can't figure out why, over there to the left, i can't get the "followers" widget to show up properly so that people can actually click to follow.  what am i doing wrong?  help?  pwease?  bueller?... bueller?