i may have jinxed myself

we've been trying to conceive since November 2010.  so far, obviously, without any luck.

i am normally very superstitious about this stuff.  i'm only now slowly opening up about trying, i've joined a trying to conceive forum and told a few friends.  but i can't shake the feeling that it is something that should not be talked about until i'm actually knocked up.

yesterday while i was out and about running errands i was sadly drawn to the baby section at Winner's.  i felt awful.  like it's never going to happen for us, like we're past our prime and babies just aren't going to happen anymore.  starting families is for people in their 20's.  not in their 30's and 40's.

so while i was feeling all down and convinced i am never going to get pregnant i saw this outfit.  and something scary took over and i bought it.

i'm kind of embarrassed about my purchase.  i didn't tell my man about it, i kept it hidden in the shopping bag so he wouldn't see it.  and now it's hidden in with some of my yarn stash.  i keep thinking that buying this baby outfit before i am even pregnant is going to jinx our chances beyond all hope :\

trying to conceive is slowly driving me insane.